never stop being you
Being real, being you, revealing yourself and allowing yourself to be seen fully, is all that people really ever want from us.
We can only experience true connection with someone when we are being real and true to ourselves.
So you’d think that we’d really ramp up this kind of authenticity when going on dates.
And yet it’s on dates above all that we tend to put on a mask, abandoning ourselves altogether and instead trying to be what we think we need to be to come across as desirable and attractive, particularly when we really like the person we’re on a date with.
The result? The whole date is fraught with anxiety as we simultaneously try to come across as cool, calm and utterly desirable while feeling that at any minute we could give the game away and be found out.
It’s a recipe for disaster: the guy you’re on a date with is going to be left feeling like something just didn’t feel right or totally convinced of your award-winning performance and now bought into you being someone that you’re not.
There is no happy outcome in this scenario!
So why do we do it?
Well it usually boils down to the fact that we don’t believe that just ‘being ourselves’ is good enough.
And so we reject what we perceive to be the risky game of authenticity, in favour of playing it safe and trying to be who we think the other person wants us to be.
But the moment we do that we step out of the love zone and into fear.
We forget that this is not a game to get them to like us. This is not a popularity contest. The aim is not to have every guy we go on a date with to fall madly in love with us or even to fancy us, even if we fancy them.
We forget that the right person for us will love us exactly as we are, when we are being fully ourselves.
So have the courage to be fully yourself and let the chips fall. If he likes the real you and you like the real him, then great! And if you don’t, then that’s great too. You can happily move on and each find someone that IS right for you both.
So today’s assignment is this - to make a pact with yourself:
To never stop being you.
To show up and be real.
To have the courage to give up who you think you should be
In order to be who you really are.
Because the brighter you let your true light shine, the easier it will be for the guy that is right for you to find his way to you.
X Selina and Vicki